Antiquer's Nursery Rhyme

This week, Antique Talk ponders that which would best be left unpondered. What if, Old Mother Goose was an antique enthusiast?

Old Mother Hubbard bought a Dutch Cupboard,
To grace a grand wall in her home.
"It's walnut" she said, "and not painted red,
I like its wood look all alone."
*
Humpty Dumptys' great disarray,
Came from a tumble that cracked him one day.
Repaired by the King, old Humpty did sing,
"It's good thing I'm not Faberge'!"
*
The Queen of Hearts she made some tarts,
To confer to her daughter's fair suitor.
Her tartlets were tasty, in crust sweet and pasty,
Served pretty on plates spun from pewter.
*
Sing a song of sixpence a pocket full of rye
The last of Annie's fortune ensuing her great buy
She chased that stately painting shining on the block
A masterpiece for cheaply fare until it proved a mock
*
Old King Cole was a merry old sole,
Who lived in the home he was born in.
"I love my old dwelling" he said pride a' swelling.
"It's a roost that has always felt lived in!"

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and his fiddle,
An antique violin made from maple
"My music's my earning," he said quite discerning,
"And this sweet sounding tool is my staple."
*
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked,
While pickles are delectable,
Their jars are more collectible,
And Peter filled himself with dills until quite sick.
*
Jack be nimble Jack be quick
To buff his Queen Anne candlestick
He rubbed and rubbed until one day
Jack's candlestick just went away.
*
There's a neat little clock,
In the schoolroom it stands,
And it points to the time,
With its neat little hands.
And may we like the clock,
And say this with flattery,
We enjoy its tic tock
As its not run by battery.
*
Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey
She dines with Grans' sterling
And says, "I'm deserving,
What the heck, it's dishwasher safe."
*
Three Blind Mice, Three Blind Mice
See how they run, see how the run,
They lost their tails in 'tique dealers' store
If the dealer was quicker she'd do damage more
I guess that old cabinet meant something much more,
Than a home for …
Three Blind Mice, Three Blind Mice.